It’s been a week and it still hurts just as bad as when you told me. Looking back at everything there were signs and I shouldn’t have been as stupid and naïve as I was. That being said I have some other things I need to express.
I loved you. Oh my gosh I loved you so much. I still do and I guess part of me always will. You were my first love, my first kiss, the first person I fully gave myself to. I’ll admit I like to look at our pictures together and even the silly ones you sent to me on snapchat. They still make me smile and every time I smile I think of another memory you and I shared. Every time I hear your name, even now, I smile. I know I shouldn’t but the amount of happiness you brought me will forever be present on my face when I hear the name of my first true love.
We told each other our hopes and dreams within the first few days of talking and the very last day we spent together you told me how to achieve one of my dreams. When you repeated exactly what I told you months earlier I couldn’t be happier knowing you remembered what I had said. You cared enough about me to remember what I wanted to do with my life and that meant everything to me. You meant everything to me. I can’t help but ask myself “where did I go wrong, how can I change this” yet the truth is it wasn’t me and there’s nothing I could have done to alter the events that unfolded. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to continue putting the blame on myself, however, I’m hoping it will help lessen the pain.
You left today to go back home which means instead of being ten miles away from one another we will soon be more than 7,000 miles apart. People keep telling me the distance will help me get over you but so far all it’s done is make me regret not spending as much time with you as I could. I know you hurt me and I should hate you for leaving me heartbroken but the truth is I can’t even get myself to be mad at you let alone hate you. I don’t think there’s anything you could do at this point that would make me actually loathe the thought of you.
If you would text me right now and ask for me to meet you at the train station and go back home with you, I would put on my shoes and drive to you. I want to be with you and it was pretty clear you don’t want to be with me but if you did, I’d be there. I don’t want to spend another second away from you. I believed you when you told me you loved me that first time on March 24th and I believed it the last time you said it on April 8th. You seemed so sincere when saying it I couldn’t help but physically feel the love that evidently wasn’t there. Could you have never loved me at all and just told me you did to see how I would react or did you mean those three little words that filled my heart with so much happiness?
I loved you. Oh my gosh I loved you so much. I still do and I guess part of me always will. You were my first love, my first kiss, the first person I fully gave myself to. I’ll admit I like to look at our pictures together and even the silly ones you sent to me on snapchat. They still make me smile and every time I smile I think of another memory you and I shared. Every time I hear your name, even now, I smile. I know I shouldn’t but the amount of happiness you brought me will forever be present on my face when I hear the name of my first true love.
We told each other our hopes and dreams within the first few days of talking and the very last day we spent together you told me how to achieve one of my dreams. When you repeated exactly what I told you months earlier I couldn’t be happier knowing you remembered what I had said. You cared enough about me to remember what I wanted to do with my life and that meant everything to me. You meant everything to me. I can’t help but ask myself “where did I go wrong, how can I change this” yet the truth is it wasn’t me and there’s nothing I could have done to alter the events that unfolded. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to continue putting the blame on myself, however, I’m hoping it will help lessen the pain.
You left today to go back home which means instead of being ten miles away from one another we will soon be more than 7,000 miles apart. People keep telling me the distance will help me get over you but so far all it’s done is make me regret not spending as much time with you as I could. I know you hurt me and I should hate you for leaving me heartbroken but the truth is I can’t even get myself to be mad at you let alone hate you. I don’t think there’s anything you could do at this point that would make me actually loathe the thought of you.
If you would text me right now and ask for me to meet you at the train station and go back home with you, I would put on my shoes and drive to you. I want to be with you and it was pretty clear you don’t want to be with me but if you did, I’d be there. I don’t want to spend another second away from you. I believed you when you told me you loved me that first time on March 24th and I believed it the last time you said it on April 8th. You seemed so sincere when saying it I couldn’t help but physically feel the love that evidently wasn’t there. Could you have never loved me at all and just told me you did to see how I would react or did you mean those three little words that filled my heart with so much happiness?