Expressing myself

I love you. I love nearly everything about you. When looking at you, talking to you or thinking about you, it is a challenge for me to find things I dislike about you. Everything from your smile and your laugh to your Instagram posts and fashion sense I can't get enough. I don't want to say you are perfect because a perfect person doesn't exist but I will say you are perfect for me. There are a lot of features I would change about myself but you make me feel comfortable in my own body which is something no one has ever done before. I'm constantly told I will find someone who is my "soulmate" or someone who is the "love of my life" and I don't disagree... but I do believe I have already found that person. Romance and love aren't the same in reality as they are in movies which most people realize unless you are as naive as I used to be. Love isn't easy to find and romance isn't easy to keep alive once you've found love. I'm pretty decent at expressing my feelings to my friends when I'm lying to myself about the way I feel about a certain person although when it comes to the truth, it gets a bit more complicated. I have no issue with speaking my mind when I'm telling everything to a Word document or a piece of paper yet when it comes to explaining myself to the specific person... game over. None the less, I love you and although you probably won't read this I needed to say all I've said. I may be terribly wrong and you and I may not even be close to perfect for one another but as of now you're my happily ever after, you just don't know it. 

Appearance

Appearance if everything. The first thing people notice when they see you is how you look. They notice your height, weight, style, etc. Now I'm not saying everyone judges off appearance but when you first meet a new person you know nothing about them so you need to make an educated guess about them off their appearance. So many people in the world worry about what others say when there is actually no reason for it. You should be able to dress in whatever, style your hair however, paint your nails any color you'd like without having to worry about someone criticizing or making fun of you. You are you and there is no reason for someone to make you feel like you can't be yourself. 
You are you and you are fucking awesome.

Breakups

I constantly have you on my mind. Whether I just woke up, whether I'm cooking dinner or whether I'm showering after a long day, you are always on my mind. I find things in my daily life constantly relating to you and no matter what I do, I can't change that. I miss you... I do but my missing you is not a good enough reason for the two of us to get back together. I loved you, well at least I think I loved you. I never told you because you never told me. Letting my pride and cowardliness get in the way, I broke up with you due to a fear of getting too close to someone who may actually be good for me. You were never anything but a perfect gentleman towards me. I've been screwed over too many times in my past to realize when I have finally found a good, decent guy. You were, well are perfect... you have a bright future, you have a loving family, you have a huge, kind heart and hell you like me. I kept trying to convince myself you were the problem in our relationship when in reality it was me the entire time. I've come to realize I am a very difficult person to love. From my rollercoaster of emotions to my obsession with nearly everything, I can be a handful. You were willing to look past my flaws and straight into my heart. You wanted me the way I was without ever changing anything about myself. I didn't know this until you because every other guy I was even involved with was mainly due to their looks but you were my perfect guy. Not because you have great hair or beautiful eyes or a nice body but because your personality, sense of humor and constant love is like nothing I have ever found in another man. All I can ask for now is for us to find our way back to each other if that is what's meant to be.